I could hear the sobbing even as I put the phone to my ear. Over the waves of hurt and confusion I heard her say “I’m sorry, I didn’t expect to react this way’”… and the floodgates of pain and deep disappointment erupted. She cried, I prayed and we both just waited for the emotions to subside and her words to become audible again.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
“What do you say to someone who is so confused?”
“Sometimes it’s as if nothing I do matters.”
“I care about them so much and it doesn’t seem to make any difference.”
“I don’t deserve all that anger.”
“I can’t help but wonder if I’m not just being used.”
The raw emotion that comes from personal investment. Pain that comes from putting your heart on the line. Where is the good in all of this? What is the point? Could this honestly and truly be what God has called anyone to do?
In a word, yes. This is as Christ suffered for us, extending Himself to hurting hearts and being rejected time and time again.
When the crying stopped there was a level of peace knowing that Jesus understood this particular pain. We both decided to give the emotions a chance to catch up with the truth, take time to pray, and continue the conversation tomorrow.
Fortify yourself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually – talk and pray with your case manager, acknowledge your hurt, and maintain your personal time with the Lord.
Remember that you are called to obedience NOT results.
Article by: Cathi Sudler